When I was a little girl, I would fantasize what my life would be like. My day dreams were very detailed. I would visualize the clothing that I would wear on the specific days of my fantasy down to the littlest details. I would notice the weather, the smell in the air, the sounds around me. I was a very busy dreamer. I wanted to marry a prince. I wanted to live in a huge house that resembled a doll house down to all the gingerbread trimmings on the front porch. I wanted to have the prettiest daughters dressed in the frilliest dresses. Their hair would be long and flowing. I would dress like the women in Vogue Magazine with dangling gold charm bracelets and high heel patent leather shoes and carry small handbags that I could wear on my wrist while I went shopping in small shops in a glamorous city. I would be admired and found interesting but I would still hold an air of mystery about myself just for the fun of it. I knew exactly what I wanted and who I wanted to be.
Somewhere in between time and space things changed.
My focus changed and in turn my dreams got put on hold. Many years have passed since those dreams. I had the house, the daughters and the charm bracelet. I also aquired the bonus that came along with it. The bonus of stress, cancer, illness, a drug addicted child and a special needs baby grandchild. I wish I would have included these in my fantasies so that I wouldn't have been crushed beyond my little girl's dreams. All in not perfect, it's not supposeed to be that way. As they say, nothing is perfect. Instead of this fantasy life, I have a life of appreciation, of gratitude and humbleness. My children are strong women, my grandbaby is thriving. Do I still long for a gold charm bracelet, you bet, everytime I look in a Tiffany's catalogue!
